Welcome
Similarly to how you get home after a few too many transfusions and that extra nine holes you promised your wife you wouldn't play, I'm not sure what's to come but everyone is glad you made it. Welcome to Uneven Lies, a delightful little corner of the internet and golf content, where my questionable web design skills have somehow made this all possible (sarcasm, you will catch on).Unlike the domestic abuse case that will begin after missing your kids soccer practice for the 4th straight weekend because your buddy needed a partner for his Nasa game, you are in a safe space.
As we progress through this journey together, my pseudonym "The Anonymous Club Professional" will transcend your content intake, taking you on a voyage of over a decade as Club Professional. The seal is now broken and I will be sharing my insights to the industry, the personalities that frequent this ridiculous game and some stories that will but a smile to the poor soul that just cam dead last in his local club championship after telling his group he found something on the range.
Uncovering the truth of this game we all know and love will be half the battle, the other, making fun of everything and everyone along the way. The truth is, this game is too ridiculous to take seriously and I hate to say it but your dreams of competing in a major championship are as good as mine are to properly edit this page (it's just not going to happen).
With no shortage of stories, and if all goes well (please humor me), my hope is to create a new sub community of golf that exposes most, while the divine uncover the truth...it's a dumb game.
As my Grandfather would say..."the best is yet to come" (in life, not your playing career).
- The Anonymous Club Professional
Behind the Keyboard
Where the fairways are rarely fair, the rough is emotional, and the only thing straighter than your drive is the sarcasm. After over a decade in the golf industry, I've decided it's time to break my silence. Not because anyone asked, but because therapy is expensive and blogging is free. I’ve worn every hat in this game: mini-tour player, pro shop shrink, range ball archaeologist, cart path traffic controller, and swing guru to the overconfident, under-talented and clinically insane. What did I learn? That golf might be a gentleman’s game, but personalities come straight out your favorite sitcom and the industry itself is fueled by alcohol, duct tape, and questionable life choices.
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Here's to the Club Professionals out there that have Tour bags and insist that waking up at 4:30am to fold shirts and sell socks fulfils their career goals. Here's to the members that somehow are successful enough to play golf but test my patience like a grandma at the counter of a DMV. I dedicate my performance to you, you are my motivation and I wish you the best in your next Open qualifier that is sure to be your big break (and not end in heartbreak and a smooth 83).
Driven By Passion (and a cart)
My Satirical Vision
Creating this website is like teeing off on the first—exciting, full of expectations and the hope you don’t lose the plot after your first shot!
My dreams, like yours, are as lofty as a Tiger stinger, really feel like we are on 59 watch here. Aiming not just for a blog filled with my slapstick stories over the years but to cultivate a community of fellow enthusiasts who are able to share their insights and laughter.
Imagine a place so vibrant that even Freddy Couples orange golf balls would be jealous! We’ll collaborate like a perfectly timed down swing and, before you know it, a podcast with viewer commentary will be echoing the valley at Augusta National. And lets not forget about the merch—because nothing says "I’m a proud member of the golf elite" like avoiding your own country club pro shop and strutting around in gear that screams "I've given up".
So, settle in, and lets work on this mess together.
